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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 22nd, 2023

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  • I ran over a Rottweiler, who later got his revenge by destroying my alternator.

    I was throwing newspapers at 6AM, going 20mph, if that, and dodged a 2x4 in the road. Felt a thump, thought, “Crap! Was there another one?”

    Got out and didn’t see anything in the road, looked under the car and there’s the dog. Oh shit. Jacked my car up to get him out, expected blood and biting. No blood and he was completely chill.

    Got him in my backseat and palpitated him all over. Looked like a broken or cracked rib or 2 and a mangled pinkie. Hauled him home and called around. Some hippies in a rescue van pulled up and took him for treatment.

    Went back to the hood and knocked doors until I found the owners. Went back and saw him again!

    The wreck continues… Month later my alternator dies. Mechanic replaced it and showed me the air intake. Jammed with a fine layer of fur.



  • Blackened shrimp or chicken burritos. Yes, shrimp. It’s $16 for 2lbs. at Aldi, and it’s quality meat. My wife and I get 4-8 meals for that, the rest amounts to about $2, if that.

    • Sear the tortillas (corn or flour, you do you) in butter or margarine for a few, throw it on the plate.

    • Fry up a few shrimp in a cast iron pan, drench in black spice to taste. (Black spice: Cayenne, chili powder, paprika, black pepper, salt, cumin, powdered garlic, onion powder, mix to taste and add whatever else you like. White pepper is the shit if you can afford it! Use the cheapest bulk crap you can buy at the ghetto grocery, nothing fancy or it will be too spicy, too many strong favors.)

    • Dice onions and chop some tomatoes, cheap lettuce if you like.

    • Throw your choice of shredded cheese on top of the cooked meat, pile on the rest of the ingredients.

    • Bring your own salsa, but I’d recommend something with a bit of acid like a tomato based sauce. Want it hotter? Much on some dehydrated chile árbol peppers (between bites!) from the Mexican store. Stupid cheap for a year’s worth of heat.