• 4 Posts
  • 984 Comments
Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: May 7th, 2024

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  • Soooooooo…what happens whenever X eventually dies? Does Bluesky just defederate, and say “Haha! It is I who has the most audience, therefore I who dictate the industry!”

    Hot or not was a thing until friendster was a thing.

    Friendster was a thing, until myspace was a thing.

    Myspace was a thing until facebook was a thing.

    We’ve seen this line of ups and downs before. Eventually Twitter will be replaced. And then the new thing will be around. As of right now, Bluesky is “federated”, but it REALLY feels like they don’t want to be. Drop of a hat, and they’re defederated. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t see it.

    I want you to imagine signing up for a service that has extroplatratinated defubulinators. And everybody on the service is taking full advantage of it. But you haven’t signed up yet, so your defubulinator needs to be created and calibrated before you can gain anything from it. Now imagine if you had no idea what extroplatratinated defubulinators even were, and you weren’t being given any indication what they do, or how to use them. Imagine you had no idea what I was even talking about. And imagine what you would do if search engines wouldn’t help you figure it out. But here I am, ranting and raving about how much better it is for you than traditional methods. But you couldn’t find ANYONE who used it, or knew what I was talking about either.

    So now you just keep living life. Never again taking what I said serious.


  • the only person on the planet that believes influencers as far as I can throw them.

    This phrase doesn’t work though. Unless you’re some body builder type, and can throw them really really far.

    But even that doesn’t make sense either. Because if you said

    “I only trust this guy 18 feet…”

    the other person would say

    “…18 feet? What? What does THAT mean???”

    And you would say “What??? You think you can throw a man 19 feet??? Ok. Go grab him. Go. Go grab that man, and throw him 19 feet. Show me.”

    At about this time I think they would just call the cops, assuming you have mental problems, and violent tendancies.

    Which to be fair…yeah. You’re over here talking about how far you can pick another man up against their will, and how far you can throw them.

    Although, how have we never made that an olympic event? You get a bunch of fat guys in a bar, and some body builder muscleheads, and see who wins. If the fat guy can escape, his time to escape is measured. Fastest fat guy gets the medal. Or, if he gets thrown, farthest throw distance wins the medal.

    I’d watch that.


  • I’d accept the job, and then write the WORST assballs articles about how Mario isn’t trying to save the princess. He’s hunting her down to get more mushrooms. She’s not being kidnapped. She’s spending quality time with her husband. She’s not a princess. She works at a white castle. Which back in the 80s, still had some of the old royal castle buildings in use.

    And Luigi isn’t his frightened little brother who won’t go on adventures because he’s scared. He’s just some guy who cleans and flips houses.

    And Princess isn’t surrounded by her toads loyal servicemen. Those are dildos. Yes, ALL of them.

    And then when they reject my work, I’d be like “Oh…then you are NOT going to like my article of pacman taking drugs and being racist…”






  • Me: 41.

    "Fortnite wasn’t a thing? I didn’t know it left. But also, you can’t say it’s coming back permanently. The roman empire lasted 1000 years. It was all some people knew for hundreds of generations. Even the roman empire wasn’t permanent. And I highly doubt some free to play shooter game is going to last 1000 years. I mean could you imagine? Still using technologies from 1000 years ago? Hmmmmm, maybe the wheel? When was the wheel invented? Had to be before 1000AD, right? Huh…I guess my knowledge of history prior to the 1700s is kind of hazy. Well…besides Columbus being a raging asshole and racist. That part is pretty well documented. I mean he was a slave owner. Although I wonder if at the time slave ownership was considered morally wrong? We KNOW it was known as being wrong by the 1860s. America fought a whole war over it. But columbus was almost 400 years earlier. I wonder if it was like how most people today know pollution is wrong, and climate change is bad, but hell if as a society we’re going to give up cars, and plastic water bottles, and soooooo much disposable waste. I mean, people like to talk shit about starbucks CEO for living in L.A., and running a company daily out of Seattle, and using a daily private jet to commute instead of just using zoom, or moving to Seattle, but they don’t actually take time to think that maybe if every single person gave up their cars, and their styrofoam plates, and their red solo cups, that the world global impact would be drastically lowered. Not that the starbucks CEO should be defended. He should be shot out of a canon into the sun. Wait…we shouldn’t fuck with the balance of the sun. If we fuck the sun, we’re all fucked. Ok, what if we just shot him out into a black hole? Well shit. If we’re getting black holes involved we should get some science observation involved. Strap him up with observable communication, ya know? I realize that 99% chance his molocules are crushed inward and he’s crushed into nothing, so the communication would just go dead. I get it…but what if? Some of the greatest scientific accomplishments were discovered completely by accident. So what if we discover that black holes hold other properties we don’t know yet? The PLAN is to destroy him, but if we discover the secrets of timr travel instead? Hey, happy accident.

    …where are my shoes?