Drunk & Root

i use gentoo because i love the package manager and how in control i am of my desktop and for servers even though not linux ive been using open bsd because of secure it is and lightweight helps squeeze out little bit more performance from mt shit vps lol

synapse can be resource intensive but u can conduwuit or now tuwunel and its pretty lightweight https://github.com/girlbossceo/conduwuit https://github.com/matrix-construct/tuwunel

i mean cant go wrong with a self hosted matrix instance im pretty sure theres some managed hosts that make the process eaiser i dont know if this is what your looking for but cant go wrong with it