Hey all,
So I recently decided to go vegan. My personal reasons for ditching animal products were because of environmental factors, animal welfare, and trying to maintain consistency with the values I hold to their logical ends.
I was curious. I’ve seen a lot of hate towards vegans online, admittedly being someone who partook in that several years ago myself to a small degree. While I’m glad and very lucky people I know closely have been making accommodations for me, I’m also worried about mentioning or bringing it up to people I’m getting to know since I don’t want to rub them the wrong way if they possibly have these notions that being vegan and veganism are a bad thing. Namely when it’s relevant in conversation like people asking me why I read ingredients lists or can’t have something they’re offering me, which I’ve been half-lying attributing to food allergies and intolerances out of worry (I’m lactose intolerant, which helps as a cop-out).
I’m wanting to know what people dislike about vegans, whether they’re based on previous experiences they’ve had, or preconceived notions, and what would make someone a “good vegan” in their eyes. I know I shouldn’t be a people-pleaser, but knowing this stuff would definitely help me gain the confidence to be more open about myself and my personal values to others who don’t necessarily share said values.
Thanks in advance, I’ll try to respond where possible, but it’s going to be a busy day for me, though I do read all replies to posts I make.
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I was vegan for about 8 years. I just don’t bring it up often. I don’t tell people I am a vegetarian. It’s not a bragging point. It’s just one part of who I am. Don’t make it your whole identity.
Totally this. I have friends who are vegan, everyone in our group knows they’re vegan, and they never stand in judgment of those of us who eat meat or talk about being vegan or why they’re vegan unless they’re asked. Simply modeling their diet with total non-judgment has made them some of the best ambassadors for veganism I’ve ever met. Almost all of us have reduced our meat consumption over time as a result
Hey, glad you want to be a considerate, conscientious vegan! You won’t upset anyone as long as you follow these simple rules:
- Never admit that you are vegan
- Never talk about veganism
- When people are talking about meat, eagerly participate
- Do not eat visibly vegan food in public
- If offered meat or cheese, eat it without protest
- Do not cook vegan food if serving others
- When you see a cow, remark out loud how you want to eat it
That’s about all you need to know to be one of the Good Vegans. Hope this helps!
Lol too true mane, effin on point. Op’s gonna find out ‘bad’ vegans are generally ‘over carnist’s shit’ vegans in a minute
You sound like one of those people who deliberately tries to feed vegans animal products
This person is obviously joking. They are almost certainly vegan
You can’t really be a good vegan to people who hate vegans: the fact that they’re assholes is 100% on them and 0% on you.
Their hate of vegans comes from their own hangups. I imagine it’s one or more of:
- Their own uncomfortable feelings around eating animal products, which you are reminding them of.
- They think that vegans think that they’re “better than them,” and they resent vegans for it.
- Some weird toxic masculinity-adjacent thing.
- They just hate anything & everything that isn’t normal/consensus, for whatever reason.
Maybe there are other hangups as well; those are what immediately come to mind.
Don’t live your life to please other people. It’ll make you miserable because there will always be those you can’t please. Instead, define for yourself what a “good vegan” is, and do your best to meet that standard. Everybody is different, and only you know what works for you.
Also, be forgiving of yourself. Everybody makes mistakes; no one is born an expert at anything. The fact that we still bite our tongues while eating is proof of that. So give yourself grace when you make a mistake; learn from it, and become better.
Idk but be prepared for people to be extreme assholes to you because they don’t like your choice of food. Mfers will see you not order a meat dish at a restaurant and take offense and try to bait you into an argument. Don’t fall for it because they’ll play dirty
Lots of non-vegans make the assumption that vegans are looking down on them as morally inferior and don’t like it.
The best you can do for them is to tell them that it isn’t about them; it’s your choice for yourself.
Of course you might actually see them as morally inferior, in which case you can just say “Hey I am vegan and while I do see you as morally inferior, it wasn’t me who brought up the subject.”
Plenty of non vegans have those views due to first hand experiences with those vegans, namely the few vocal ones that make veganism their entire personality and admonish anyone who isn’t like them. Personally, I’ve been chewed out twice by two separate vegans, once because I ordered a cheeseburger at a bar (we were out having beers, I got hungry, ordered a burger, and friend of a friend proceeded on a half hour rant about how I’m evil and am destroying the planet, and that I am a terrible person, etc), the other because I walked past a rally on my way somewhere and wasn’t expressly in support of their cause. I also have a couple buddies that went the vegan route, but we just don’t talk about to because it’s a pointless argument. Like, I’m cool with y’all’s choice, power to you, just don’t crawl up my ass because I like meat. Live and let live
Mfers will see you not order a meat dish at a restaurant and take offense and try to bait you into an argument
Who does this?! I’ve gone out to eat with vegan friends many times, and this has never happened, not once. And I live in Texas
My bio family is made up of shit people who hate anything they don’t get. And friends of friends of friends at social gatherings have made snarky comments to that effect as well
I’m not vegan, but I find it absolutely wild that anyone thinks being kind of annoying sometimes comes anywhere near the level of moral or ethical bankruptcy involved in being complicit in the mass torture of animals for the sake of convenience. Like, okay, yeah, it’s not like we have the option of just deciding on behalf of powerful capitalists to just end factory farming. But deciding to at least try not to participate in it by changing your diet is at least something.
Don’t worry about being a “good vegan” if that means having to tiptoe around the fact that the rest of us fuel immense suffering both monetarily and through social normalization. You’re trying, and that’s great.
Just curious, why aren’t you vegan if you consider it morally bankrupt to be complicit in the meat industry?
I quit eating meat for a year once and it was pretty shit for my mental health. I do try to avoid the worst of factory farming as much as I can, though. Organic eggs (in my state regulations on organic eggs include a number of anti-cruelty measures), minimal chicken to reduce the death to meat quantity ratio, things like that. But also, I personally don’t feel as though the suffering inflicted on insect populations or rodent populations, or the damages of large scale farming, or the cruelty involved in transporting bees for pollenation are particularly okay either. I’m not really sure there’s such a thing as effective veganism in modern society unless you’re growing your own food at home, and I don’t have the energy, financial security, or access to land for that.
Nearly every product we consume leads to suffering and destruction. I don’t think being short of the point where you’re willing to radically change your lifestyle means I should deny that, though, even if all my spoons tend to be spent on shit like dragging myself out of bed and ensuring air quality that triggers my asthma and allergies as little as possible.
Humans are a mess. There’s a substantial cost in physical and psychological resources and energy to dwindling the impact of that mess, but there’s very little cost to at least acknowledging it and advocating for growing as a species.
Most vegan hate is just reactionary and you should disregard it. It’s because vegans force omnivores to confront the reality of where their food comes from, to confront climate science, and to confront your own personal social responsibility. I think it’s very silly to be concerned with being a “good vegan”. If you don’t want to get into arguments then just eat your vegan food and move on. If people take issue with you deciding to eat the food you want to eat, and having boundaries around not wanting to eat certain foods, especially given that these decisions are based on your own moral compass, then they are complete dickheads you should not be around anyway.
I also don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with being a naggy/pushy vegan. I don’t try to convince anyone to go vegan just because I figure if they want to then they will, if there’s resistance then I have better ways to spend my time. If they’re vegan-curious they’re always welcome to ask me about it. I think whether or not you try to make other people go vegan is a personal choice, and a political choice about how to most effectively enact your politics.
I think trying to have a more progressive social circle will help you, because I have honest to god never experienced one of my friends taking issue with me being vegan, and several of my omnivorous friends have confessed to me unprompted that they feel bad about eating animal products and “should” eat more vegan food (I don’t ever even talk about veganism except for just mentioning that I’m vegan when we’re getting food together). Like I said, if they take issue with the food you choose to eat/food you refuse to eat for moral reasons, they are just plain dickheads and you should stop being friends with them.
You just do you. I think when people say “bad” they generally mean preachy. That is not most vegans. Just live your life, eat what you want, bring good food to potlucks so that you know you’ll have something.
I will add that mentioning it is not preachy, if you get an overreaction it’s not you. I am omnivorous and would want someone to tell me before a party or outing so that I don’t accidentally invite them to a steakhouse or BBQ joint. I often make vegan food for potlucks just because it’s sort of a baseline, most everyone can eat it.
There’s probably an element of “read the room”. I’m open to trying something new or different to me, have enjoyed many meals that happen to not include animal products, and will be offended if you let me be a bad host by lack of communication. But I certainly know all too many fellow carnivores who will be offended at the mere mention
If you’re not dictating what others should eat, then I think there would be no issue. Goodness is in behaviour, right?
I’m in India. In Hinduism, some upper castes have vegetarianism. And also most people would need to have meat or fish to achieve a balanced diet and meet nutritional goals within reasonable costs.
We also have the issue of people suspected of eating cow meat being mob lynched to death in some North Indian states.So, when I see moralistic stuff being talked about diets, I become wary about associated casteist/classist things behind it.
I’ve read that the average Western person eats a lot of meat compared to others, so not against the idea of better consumption to reduce wastage, but have seen some online discussions where people are talking about it from two contexts.
Don’t be preachy, respect other people’s opinions. It’s simple.
I don’t respect opinions of murderers
Honestly, just don’t be a dick about it.
It’s like being a good insert religious group. You live your beliefs, and don’t push them on other people. It’s really that simple. That’s what people hate about vegans.
If someone asks, it’s perfectly okay to explain why you follow a religion, so it’s fine when the question is about being vegan. It’s when there’s a conversation about something else, and you insist on shoving your beliefs into it that’s there’s a problem. Or, when the conversation is such that talking about your beliefs is the goal, insisting that the other people agree with your beliefs.
It’s that simple. It’s that easy.
I troll vegans. It’s easy to do because a lot of them treat it like a religion and are zealots, or are arrogant enough to think that they’re better because of what they believe. But, irl away from the anonymity of the internet, it rarely happens, and the vegans I know are fucking great, because they don’t shoehorn their beliefs into things, and don’t act like jerks about it. It’s why I’ll gladly cook vegan for them when they’re guests.
You know how people bitch about jehovah’s witnesses and mormons knocking on their door, or the baptists (or other christian sects) leaving shit on their stoop or shoved into doors? Don’t be like that. If you’re in a situation where you would not be surprised that someone would be angry/annoyed by someone going on about being wiccan or christian, or hindu, they’ll likely be the same about veganism.
Live your beliefs, don’t show them off, and anyone that has a problem with you is the asshole, not you.
Exactly. People don’t hate vegans because they’re a vegan. People hate people who take one aspect of their lives and make it their entire identity, shoehorning it into every conversation.
I was a partner at a Bio vegetable farm. As part of the business I was in contact with over 100 vegetarian /vegan restaurants (our main customers).
Early on I learned, from the owner of one of the oldest vegetarian restaurants in the business in our area, 20+ old (the restaurant) , that Vegetarianism is a dietary choice, veganism a cult.
I do Keto. When going out, or eating at someone’s, I do not make a fuss. If spaghetti is on the menu, I’ll eat it. My choice is not the others burden.
Also, use Arch.
I’m not into this line of thinking because by continuing to eat meat they’re still causing animal suffering. It isn’t a belief without consequences (like talking to the air is), it actually impacts others (the animals).
All beliefs and practices impact others, because they guide your behavior and your behavior impacts others. It’s up to you whether you decide to bring your beliefs and practices into every conversation, but the person you’re talking to is likely to think you’re unpleasant to be around. This is especially true if you place your belief or practice in judgment of someone else’s.
So sure, you can be vocal if that’s what you want to do, but you’re also likely to suffer social consequences, which is what OP is asking about avoiding.
Well I don’t want to generalize about every possible belief, but what I wrote is that by consuming meat you’re impacting animals’ lives so the argument that each person has a choice and it only impacts that person is false.
I’m not addressing every possible belief someone might hold.
This is kinda exemplifying it. It’s one thing to raise awareness, but it’s another to chastise someone’s preferences for one of the main bodily functions necessary to live and try to make them uproot their entire lives around a philosophy. The fact of the matter is, barring a cataclysmic event, people are still going to eat what they enjoy. If you can convert someone to the cause, sweet, but if they say no, leave it be. You aren’t going to shame someone into going vegan, and that he line makes someone a dick.
If eating meat is needed to live, and I haven’t eaten meat in 6+ years how am I alive?
Where did I say eating meet is needed to live? I said preference. Your reading comprehension and abrasion aren’t winning you any points bud.
Annnd there it is folks, the vegan that has to assume moral superiority.
I said that eating dead animals impacts those animals’ lives, not just the person who chooses to eat meat. Where do you think meat comes from?
Nope, nope, nope, not playing your game, not gonna happen
The game where you make a huge assumption and then get pissy when a rather obvious counterpoint is made?
That’s fine with me, there are more productive conservations to be had; I don’t have time to go through 20 rationalizations and justifications anyway. 👋
Thank you for making my point
I’m not vegan so take it from me: you’re being obtuse.
“What makes a “good vegan”, and how can I be one?”
huh… not eating/consuming animal-related products?
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For me, it isn’t really a hatred, more a “I’m tired of hearing about this.” It’s almost never “I’m vegan” and that’s the end of it. It’s all too often “I’m vegan and you should be too and you should feel bad for not being vegan and here in my TED talk I will cover…”
Be vegan if you want. If you decide to proselytize, take “no” or “stop” for an answer.
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Perhaps, but the unpleasant ones are usually very unpleasant and sometimes violent.
My wife and I will accommodate vegans so long as they’re content to keep it to themselves. If we don’t wish to eat the same thing, that’s our choice and not intended as an offense.
As someone who deals with lactose intolerance.
Just don’t make it a big deal, if you can’t eat something, don’t eat it. Your needs are important, but other people are equally entitled to their own enjoyment.
I hate vegans who only do it to virtue signal, it is a personal journey keep it that way.
If someone is thoughtful enough to ask about your dietary requirements, they are probably “good people” and won’t care about it. They will just make allowances for you.
An anecdote about dietary requirements:
I have a sister in law who cannot eat onions/garlic/leeks etc… she does make a big deal about it, no dishes can have those ingredients when she is around.
Her intolerance is about at bad as mine, she gets bloated and gassy… So not dangerous, just uncomfortable.
It always feels difficult to deal with. My view is, if you want to make potatoes with cream sauce, enjoy it I’ll eat something else.Honestly I don’t care what you want to eat. It’s your body, you can shove whatever you like into it.
Where vegans become a problem is where they’re being evangelical about their beliefs and trying to force their audience to feel the same shock and horror as they feel when contemplating the meat industry. If all I hear from you is restricted to when I offer you food and ask if you have any dietary requirements, and is of the form “I’m vegan”, that’s absolutely fine. If we’re friends I’ll adjust the menu for you, although you might have to accept it’s only your plate that gets veganified.
You going “eww” and talking about “rotting corpses” or whatever is where it becomes a problem. If I’ve asked, obviously I’ve brought your response upon myself but you should still tone it down for the non-vegans. “I’ve looked into the meat industry and I didn’t like what I saw” would be a good first response; make sure not to release any gory details unless people are really pressing you for that level of detail.
That said, none of this is based on actual experience of offensively evangelical vegans. I’ve heard they exist but haven’t met one yet. I’ve known some people for quite a while before finding out they’re vegan, veggie or whatever.
It’s not a belief. Animals being sentient is a fact. Animal agriculture being inefficient and wasteful is a fact. Animal products not being necessary for our survival is a fact.
Now you could argue that killing sentient beings is OK, but then that’s a weird moral position. And nevertheless, not a belief
“This is how you should advocate for veganism. I should know because it didn’t work for me.”
