the details aren’t super important and i’m not going to go into particular depth here but, in summary: i am on break. the burnout is quite bad. the “avalanche analogy” is pretty apt for what i’m dealing with here.
if you’ve never heard the “avalanche analogy” before, it is this: no individual snowflake is the problem, but the accumulation in an avalanche is still catastrophic.
individually, nothing i have dealt with so far―technical stuff, users, situations, arguments on here, etc.―have been issues that make me want to not use the site. the accumulation though is currently unbearable, even on this fairly small size. effectively all the time i―or any other admin, for that matter―am on here, i am being constantly paged with things to handle; people to sort out and placate; content to remove; bug issues to delegate; and all while having hundreds of people make contradictory suggestions to me i have to make sense of, balance, and generally hear nonstop while being expected to act like a service worker. it’s pretty draining!
accordingly, i have not logged in for about a week (or really done anything with the site, for that matter) and even thinking about it is exhausting. so things aren’t great. it’s pretty clear i need to extensively step back―which i’ve already been doing because i’d like to actually, eventually use the site i help co-run here again. i don’t feel good about just dipping without saying anything longer than i already have though, hence this post.
i’d ideally like to be back sometime next week, but i obviously can’t promise that. it’ll happen when it happens. please do not page me in the mean time with site stuff―it will be ignored.
thanks
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Please take care of yourself. We seriously appreciate you and everything you’ve done, same goes for all other staff. This past week has immensely stressful across the lemmyverse and no one blames you at all for needing to tap out from all this. A lot of people are expecting lemmy and lemmy instances to be like reddit 2.0, but that’s just not humanly possible. It also feels like lemmy as a software has had it personally out for beehaw… kind of like a murphy’s law situation.
Take time for yourself! You guys deserve it. You’ve had a lot on your plate that you didn’t expect.
Gotta take care of yourself first, nobody is going to begrudge you of that. I know exactly how you feel, I’ve been through the same thing before … like they say, don’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm.
You’ve got a good group of volunteers, they’re taking care of things, don’t come back until you feel completely ready!
I’ve been in that exact same spot, running a community and experiencing that kind of burnout. Where something you enjoyed managing just felt draining and like work, when talking about it was a dreaded thing.
And really, taking a break is a good thing. Don’t actively push yourself if you don’t enjoy it right now, it will only hurt you in the long run. But I will say this, I realized all too quickly that when my motivation came back after my breaks, the burst of energy was short-lived before I was reminded why I burned out in the first place. After 2-3 times of that cycle repeating, the burst of energy never came again.
To give a piece of unwanted advice, I think you guys might be stretching yourselves too thin. You’ve got a considerably sized site at this point, and not many hands to run it. I can’t speak for exactly what sort of help would alleviate it for you, maybe creating a barrier of a few community-level mods to help take on some of the bulk to leave the site admins with the sitewide issues. Maybe you could even look into getting another admin or two, if most of the issues are site-wide.
But I believe I can say without a doubt that the circumstances around the burnout will probably need to change before the joy of it is gone altogether.
I wish you guys the best.
To give a piece of unwanted advice, I think you guys might be stretching yourselves too thin. You’ve got a considerably sized site at this point, and not many hands to run it. I can’t speak for exactly what sort of help would alleviate it for you, maybe creating a barrier of a few community-level mods to help take on some of the bulk to leave the site admins with the sitewide issues. Maybe you could even look into getting another admin or two, if most of the issues are site-wide.
we are talking stuff like this over but i didn’t put it in the post; more on that TBD
I actually think the best solution for a space like Beehaw is to just turn off the creation of new accounts for the time being. The point of this instance isn’t to be the biggest, it’s to be a high quality space. People will still be able to interact with Beehaw from the outside too.
Also valid. At the end of the day, the important thing is that the folks that provide the space don’t burn themselves out too hard. Whatever method they find acceptable to achieve that is perfectly okay.
you’ve been an absolutely wonderful admin. please take all the time you need and come back when you’re ready, if you’re ready; don’t come back too soon and burn out again. take care!
Mental health is extremely important and often overlooked.
Thank you for everything you’ve done to date.
Take your time and we’ll all be here when you’re ready ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
alyaza (not tagging with the @ symbol as I don’t want this to just become another notification in your inbox pestering you), you have been a true delight thus far in my time interacting with you. Spend as much time away as you need. This instance has a truly excellent administration team, and will be able to take care of beehaw.org for as long as you need to be away. If they can’t, I’m sure there will be people willing to respond to a call to action for more people. Beehaw.org will be okay without you. And don’t try to rush yourself back just because you feel like a couple of weeks should be enough time. I know what it feels like to think you should be able to expect yourself in some specified time window to come back and then when you do you realize it wasn’t enough time. Instead of timeboxing your recovery time, I recommend picking some project that you really want to focus on and returning once that’s done. Maybe it’s drawing something, perhaps it’s writing a short story, possibly it’s hiking one of the triple crown trails in the United States. But let yourself focus on that thing and see how you feel after that project is done.
Anyway.
The point is.
Be good to yourself. Treat yourself with the same empathy you extend to others. You are valuable and worthy of love.
Please take good care of yourself alyaza. Do what YOU need to do for YOU
Just wanted to thank you and everyone else making beehaw the wonderful, genuine and welcoming community that it is!!
What a refreshing world to be able to taklk to one another without the bots and feel of those ‘other’ places.
Much love you, and, really, THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU!!
Good job at identifying that you need rest. I historicallly have been so bad at that.
Please go away (gently) and don’t think about us. Nothing that happens here is more important than your health.
Hey, don’t know if you’ll see this but thank you for all the work you’ve been putting into making sure this platform is not on fire :)
In my own life regarding similar conflict of needs and responsibilities, I’ve often found it useful to just decide what amount of time I’m comfortable commiting to a thing such that I still enjoy doing it and it doesn’t ruin the rest of the things I want to do in my life, and stick to that hard time limit, come hell or high water. This might not suit you or might not help in this situation, but hopefully it helps a little.
Get some rest! Hopefully when you come back the mental load is lighter and things work out, but at the end of the day, none of this is more important than your health and well-being.
Take care alyaza! 🫂
I’ve stuck around, and even a month ago I could see that the growth of Beehaw would be a major source of stress as much as it is an exciting success.
Please. Take a break. Go out and do what you brings you joy. Beehaw will still be around whenever you’re ready to come back to it. You have done loads to make this site what it is.
Sending you lots of love and relaxation vibes. Enjoy your vacation and stop reading my message! 🤣❤
I’ve not been here long, but your comments have always been a joy to read. I’m a software engineer myself so I understand the burnout of having to manage all the things all the time. I’m thankful for all that you’ve done for the community, and hope you can come back and enjoy it once again whenever you’re ready.
For the short time that I have been here, your comments have been some of the most engaging and insightful that I have seen.
I’ll claim responsibility for some of the headaches that you and other admins may have had (whether or not that is actually the case) and for that I am sorry.
I hope you get the opportunity to do whatever it is you need to do to get rid of what has been troubling you.
