No. I’m tired of everything becomeing “high tech.” Stop putting buttons and lights and nobs on everything. I just want to buy it once and not worry about it needing a fucking wifi connection
Yeah but now you can see the weight of your poops and compete with family and friends on the leaderboard.
SaS
With some mobile apps, in app currency and some gamiffication (aka predatory tactics) like trophies and leader boards and pay for win features, I could see making lots of money from poop a very legit business.
And thus the smart toilet was born…only 9.99$ a month for unlimited flushes, or .99$ per flush.
(Additional water usage charges may apply)
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I just want one with a built in, automatic poop knife
Just stick a garbage disposal in there that turns on every flush. As long as you aren’t shitting out whole nuts and bones it should work.
Way ahead of you: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maceration_(sewage)?wprov=sfla1
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Luckily, you can just choose to not buy this one
Was at the HLTH 2023 conference in Vegas this week, they had a toilet seat with a blood pressure and pulse monitor and pulse oximeter.
Based on users weight and weight distribution it could even track multiple people.
When I asked about cost, they insisted they wanted it to be $0 for patients and handled by insurance.
Blood pressure is still pending FDA approval.
https://www.mddionline.com/cardiovascular/sitting-new-monitoring-thanks-toilet-seat-device
When I asked about cost, they insisted they wanted it to be $0 for patients and handled by insurance.
Nice dodge they did there.
Does anyone really give a shit?
Daily. Sometimes more frequently.
Aaah to be young again.
I’m not paying $20,000 for every flush.
I merely posted this as it’s “a thing” now. I think we’re putting IoT into too much. It’s a marketing phase. Apple watches are nice, but I don’t own one. Back in 2015 when they introduced the $10,000 to $17,000 18-karat gold Apple Watch (which is now obsolete), it was a fad thing for the rich crowd. Just like when Dan Quayle bought George HW Bush a solid gold toilet paper holder, this is a pretty for the elite.
I don’t see too many people buying these, but at $20K a piece, how many do you have to sell?
Reminds me of a Dilbert comic. “Our target demographic are rich idiots”
Ahh, back when we thought Dilbert was antiwork.
If your business is bitching about something that sucks, you might find yourself wanting it to keep sucking. And depending on how much of a piece of shit you are, you might even take steps to ensure it keeps sucking if you can.
American toilet companies slowly approaching where Japan was 10+ years ago
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“I give you happy poopy time!”
Banging on door
Voice beyond the door: “Dad! Don’t start pooping! We just lost the Internet! Hold it! Don’t drop the deuce!”
“Sorry, you know too much.”
Any toilet that still flushes is weak, archaic shit. Delft worked on a toilet that burns up shit using plasma.
I’ve got something similar to the Bio Bidet BB-2000 Bidet Toilet Seat I bought during the great toilet paper sell out of 2020. Worth every penny of the $400 I spent. I feel like a king everytime I sit down.
Bidet changed my life. I fear pooping in public now.
Literal “internet of shit,” also ridiculously expensive.
Or you can just buy a $300 Toto washlet that has all the same features, lol.
Most of these are just luxury models that come pre installed on some designer toilet. Get a normal toilet, install a basic washlet, and enjoy the benefits of the 20th century. (yes, I’m implying that if you only use toilet paper to clean yourself that you’re living a pre-20th century life. That’s okay, you do you)
Toilet paper is too futuristic for me. I wipe my ass with a communal stick.
You guys wipe?
Complete barbarism. Doesn’t even have the three seashells lol
You can tell the author had tons of fun writing this.
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Pretty interesting, toilets haven’t really changed much for decades but I could see a bunch of ways they could provide useful information to you.
Lol at the bloomers in the other threads though who hate change.
